Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Randomize
