O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
