I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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