I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
