PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
