he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
