I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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