out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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