people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I got inside last night via doggy door
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm bleeding and have questions
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
