Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
