I want to have your abortion
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
