i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
