Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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