its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
