I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
