Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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