At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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