I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
