Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
