just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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