I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Ladies don't puke and tell
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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