i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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