I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Vodka?
Forever.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
