How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
