At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
