shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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