Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
