Is it normal to miss your booty call?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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