so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
