Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
