1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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