Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
