we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
