but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
