I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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