is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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