Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
