Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize