I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
