I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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