Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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