god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
