The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
