hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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