OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize