I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
