This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize