its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
