there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
