You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
