What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
