He disabled his match.com account in front of me
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
