we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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