we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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