You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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