i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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